Aliases: Pretty girl; Shelby Shelberson
Breed: SuperMutt; breeds open to debate. The shelter said border collie/husky mix, but the older she gets, the more people think she’s part greyhound.
Favorite toy: Her favorite ball, which is blue and has a jingle bell inside it. Second favorite: whatever toy her “brother” Frank happens to be playing with.
Owners: Emily & Harry
ASPCA personality Type: Busy Bee – I’m a naturally playful, curious, and trusting canine. Take me for a big walk every day; give me something to do. After my job’s done, I’ll curl up in front of the fire with you in the evenings.
Appearance: B
Shelby is gorgeous. She’s cream and caramel with a little bone-shaped white stripe that runs up her forehead. She’s svelte and has legs for miles! Sometimes, she pretties her paws up by covering them in blue ink and/or blue and green highlighters, depending on what has been accidentally left around the house. Then again, frequently and especially when she’s tired, her eyes get all wonky and seem to point in different directions, such that she looks like she has perhaps been drinking. We think this is endearing, but we know a puppy modeling agency might not agree.
Friendliness (People): A
Friendliness (Dogs): B
Shelby is a social butterfly who is literally always excited and happy to see everyone—dog, cat, or human. It’s hard for her to get as much attention from people with her attention-hog of a “brother,” Frank the Mastiff, in the house, but she still tries her hardest. If you come over, she will be so excited to see you that her tail will wag the back two-thirds of her body. And, in the event that you ever let her sleep in bed with you at night, there is a decent chance you will fall asleep with her curled up by your feet, but wake up and find yourself inadvertently spooning a dog. She’s sneaky like that.
She also gets so excited when she sees another dog that she can barely contain herself (we can sometimes barely contain her, too). She will play at the dog park until her tongue is hanging out sideways and she can barely walk anymore. She only loses a point for sometimes playing a little too rough with and/or ganging up on other dogs with Frank, but I guess that’s what happens when you grow up with a Mastiff twice your size.
Special Talents: A
Shelby is still too young to have fully developed her talents, but she gets an A on presumption, because she’s smart and maybe a little bit evil so it’s only a matter of time before she has honed her skills. She has already developed many talents over the last few months, like sit, stay, down, and, more notably, things like locking deadbolts (she once locked her mom and “brother” Frank out of the house; that will teach us to ever leave her behind again!). She has also figured out how to do things that are seemingly physically impossible, like reaching things on shelves that appear to be physically beyond her reach and perching her entire body on the arm of the couch to look out the window. We suspect that she may have Go-Go Gadget Legs, but we have yet to confirm it. She has figured out how to play fetch with her ball all by herself. She generally picks up commands quickly and we’re pretty sure we will ultimately be able to train her to do anything. We also think she’s probably already plotting to take over the world.
Begging for Food: B
Shelby thinks begging is for suckers; if you want something, you TAKE IT! She gets a B because she rarely begs—she knows we won’t give in—but she frequently manages to get what she wants anyway by resorting to alternative means. For example, if you don’t give in to her wet-nosed attempts to share your coffee, she will just wait until you are distracted and then stealthily sneak into the garbage, pluck out the used coffee filter, and attempt to eat ALL of the coffee grounds. If you don’t give her one of the cookies you baked, she’ll just wait until you go out and then inexplicably retrieve said cookies from a shelf that appears to be far out of her reach.
Other important information:
By all indicators, Shelby appears to be a social deviant with a wide range of vices. She seems to enjoy the taste of alcohol and always tries to steal sips of wine and beer with much more effort than she makes toward anything else. She will specifically (try to) eat cigarette butts off the ground. She’s displayed an aptitude for petty theft, we’re pretty sure she’s responsible for at least one broken window and she likes to roll over and put her ladyparts on display for everyone to see. Inappropriate! We’re pretty glad she’s a dog, because if she were a person, we think she’d be a nightmare as a teenager and would cost us a lot in bail money and lawyer’s fees.
Overall Grade: A-
Review Of My Dog 